NEAT & SIMPLE LIVING with Ariane Benefit, Organizing Coach

Do you make To Do lists but then don't follow them?

The topic of "to do lists" came up in the Neat and Simple Living Cafe the other day.  This is an issue that many people agonize over, so I thought I'd write about it here, too. If you are like the hundreds of people who tell me they make lots of lists, but have difficulty following them or even finding them, you are not alone! 

Difficulty following lists is very common among people with a creative or right-brain dominant personality style as well as with ADDers. In addition, people with certain kinds of brain injuries or head injuries may find it easy to "make" lists, but have much trouble "following" lists. There are many psychological, neurological, learning style, sensory, and even genetic reasons why some people are not good at "following" written instructions of any kind, including their own lists! 

I'm going to spare you the theories, but promise me you'll stopping beating yourself up!  It's not that you are lazy or procrastinating...it's how you are wired.  So let's accept it and work with it.  Even though it's not easy for you...there are some tricks to making your lists easier to follow.  

Here's the thing about making lists. Writing itself is a very effective way to clarify what's on your mind, process information and enhance your ability to remember things. So there is a good reason to keep on making your lists! They help you:

• Remember things better (just like taking notes)
• Slow down your brain to the speed of writing so that you can think more clearly and get your ideas out.
• Articulate your ideas. 
• Reduce your fear that you will forget the items

Before we look at ways to make lists easier to follow...let's look as some of the things that make them more difficult to follow.  Lists may be harder to follow if:

• There are too many items on it
• Handwriting isn't clear or the lettering is not big enough
• You use light colored ink or pencil 
• The paper used is colored and does not provide a high contrast with the ink used 
• Action items aren't listed in order of priority and you have to scan the whole list to decide which things to do next.
• Item don't list all the information you need to act on it, e.g. for some people, if they don't write the phone number and have to hunt it down, they will skip write over that item on the list.  
• The spacing between the items is too close.  
• More than a day or 2 goes by before you look at it again (particularly if you have ADD, the list may lose all sense of urgency)
• You have any kind of reading or vision difficulties such as a mild dyslexia
• You are stressed when you look at the list 
• You have lots of other ideas going through your head when you look at 
• The items are so brief that you forget what was actually meant. For example, I have seen many examples of people writing things like "Call Doctor" and then forgetting which doctor and why.    

There are many more items I could add, but I think you get the idea.  Everyone is different in terms of what works best for them, but here are some tips that might help you make your lists easier to "follow".

• Limit the items to 4 - 6 short items on them
• Use very clear large lettering, I use a black Sharpie for lists I really need to follow
• Put lots of space between items.  This makes it easier for your brain to focus on one item at a time. 
• Put a little box or circle in front of each item so that you can check it off when you are done
• Put high priority items at the top, lower priority in the bottom half of the list. 
• Use color or other visual cues to help you highlight the highest priority items:  e.g., highlighters or my personal fave is to draw "clouds" or "bubbles" around the  most important things.
• Use brightly colored paper with high contrast to your ink.
• Use a TO DO notebook that is ONLY for Action Items.  Put a removeable tab or post-it on pages with open items in your notebook. 
• Don't mix things you would "like to do" with things that you really "will or must do". One trick I've used is to turn the notebook upside down and use the back of the book to capture "brainstorms" and "ideas" or use a separate notebook all together.   
• Some people need "novelty" to help stimulate their brain to pay attention to their lists, so using different color paper and highlighters may be effective.  So if you are the types that likes trying out new ways to make your lists, have fun with it, but be aware that if you try lots of complicated software to do lists you are probably wasting a ton of time learning and setting up new ways to do your lists.  Try to restrain your "novelty needs" to simple, easy changes. 

Alternatives to linear lists and paper may also help you follow lists better.  I use different methods for different kinds of lists. Some of the tools I use:

• Digital Recorder
• Calling in to my Voice mail 
• White boards (I have a couple small ones that I use like pads of paper, and one on the wall fo rwhen I need to move around to think/) 
• Mind Mapping 
• Flip Chart that I hang on a nail on my office door 
• Post-it Flip Charts that I hang on my wall.  
• Magnetic pads for my refrigerator  
• Chalkboard in the kitchen 

You may need to experiment with alternate ways to find the best way for you to make your lists, and you may need different kinds of lists for different things.  Some people need to stick to one kind of list, others need the diversity.  Give yourself permission to play and experiment till you find methods that not only attract you but are easy to read and follow later.  Another option is to just give yourself permission to make lists with the intention of helping you get things off your mind without the expectation that you have to follow them! If they helped you remember, and you did the action item without looking at your list. That's good enough.  

Have a quirky way to make lists work for you?  Leave a comment below!

Ever wonder what happens to your donations?

Check out this photo essay Debra Baida, Professional Organizer made about her tour of the San Francisco-based processing facility of Goodwill Industries of San Francisco, San Mateo, and Marin counties.

Although you may be concerned that some of the items do go to Rag Sellers, many do go to the GoodWill stores.

The best news?  Debra tells us that

"Donated items arrive at Goodwill's central processing facility in San Francisco for sorting, inspection, and distribution. The work is done by participants in Goodwill's diverse job training programs. Part of the mission is to create "solutions to poverty through workforce creation" and to "build sustainable livelihoods." As I witnessed during the tour, this training occurs at all phases throughout the facility."

So your donations also help people develop employable skills!  To me that is a great reason to donate old clothing and not let my home become a "graveyard" for rotting clothes that produce nothing but dust! 

What the best way to ensure they don't become rags?  Donate them while they are still in good condition! Don't wait till they are full of moth holes and the elastic in the waste bands no longer works : ) 

When was the last time you sorted through your clothes for donations?  During this change of seasons is a GREAT time to let go of those items you didn't wear all summer and the items you don't want to wear this winter. : )

Read Debra's post and see more photos here.

Related Post from the Green Guide:  What happens to Donated Clothes?

Organizing Your Office - Book Contest Results!

Please accept my apologies for the delay in choosing the winners for my book title contest.  Since I announced the contest, my uncle who was like a dad to me, found out he had lung and bone cancer and passed away just before the election. I was in New Hampshire often and the book was the last thing on my mind.  On top of that our roof started leaking (again), we had a flood in the basement (again), and a pipe under the kitchen sink burst.  It's been a month from hell for me, but I'm getting back on track.

I truly appreciate your patience! 

Here's what's going on with the contest.

We have winners!!!

The winning title is  "I know it's here somewhere!"
and was submitted by:

1. Fran Pikus
2. Naomi T.
3. Pamela Luisa

Since 3 people submitted the winning title, we are working out the details of whether to give the prize to the first person to submit the title, or share the prize of $100 + One hour consultation among the three.

Top Runners up

You made this decision REALLY tough! I will use this for something....

1. It's 9:00am. Do You Know Where Your Desk Is?   
2. Has anyone seen my desk? Submitted by:
   • Angie Poole http://www.angiepoole.blogspot.com
   • Chelo www.chelokeys.com
3. Excuse me, have you seen my desk?   by Debbie Jordan Kravitz
4. Stop Agonizing Over Organizing!   by Audra I may use this for a book about general organizing!  : )

I appreciate all of your contribution. You all submitted awesome titles.  In fact I'm thinking that some of the titles I will use for articles / presentations / classes.  Also I will combine some and use them as Subtitle and Promotional copy for the book.  To thank you for your contribution, the winners and runners up have all been emailed copies of my e-books for FREE!

All my best,

 

20 Neat & Simple ways to simplify Holiday Decorating, Gift Giving, Card Sending, and Entertaining!

The holidays are supposed to be a time of giving and celebration of new beginnings.  But our traditions of decorating, gift giving, card sending, eating and entertaining have become so complicated and stressful that it’s almost impossible to recognize the true meaning of the holidays anymore.  Here are a few tips to help you simplify, reduce stress and get back to experiencing the joys of holiday traditions!

Decorating Tips

• Decorate less!  This year, try using only half of your decorations. Spending less time displaying decorations will give you more time to enjoy them!  You’ll also have less to put away after the holidays!

• Don’t add to your decorations, REPLACE them!  If you buy a new decoration, let go of an old one.

• Create a decorating routine.  Use pictures of last year's decorations as a guide to help you figure out where to put everything more quickly.

• When you put holiday decorations out on display, put some of your non-holiday decorations away. Keep those decorations in your holiday storage box until the holidays are over!

• If you have decorations that are worn out, or that you don’t really use any more, donate them.  Don’t just keep them out of habit. If they are sentimental, take a photo and let them go.

Gift Giving Tips

• Set limits. It’s so tempting to give your kids lots of gifts.  But when you do, you are actually teaching them to expect that every year.  The best gift you can give your kids is to teach them that the true meaning of the holidays is to give of yourself to others, be with people you love, and not about how many gifts you get.

• One of the biggest sources of holiday stress is overspending on gifts. Make a list of everyone you want to give a gift to and set a budget that allows you to celebrate the holidays without creating a financial hardship.

• Limit the number of shopping trips you make. 3-4 should be plenty!

• Create your gift list based on what you know people really need and use. If you aren’t sure, find out their favorite stores, restaurants, activities or service providers and give them a gift certificate. See Jeri Dansky's Tips on Giving Gift Cards and Gift Certificates (Here are my "clutter-free holiday gift ideas")

• Don’t go shopping just to look for gift ideas!  When people shop looking for ideas, they often end up finding too many great gift ideas, can't decide, and then they buy too many gifts!

• Don’t bring home “possible” gifts thinking you'll return the ones you decide not to give.  That almost never happens! And it just causes more stress. The best time to make decisions about what gifts you want to give is BEFORE you go shopping.

• Shop online!  Especially for people you have to ship gifts to.  Having your gifts wrapped & shipped directly to them can save you a lot of aggravation waiting in line at the post office!

• Instead of spending a lot on gift wrap, make creative gift wraps out of items in your home.  For example, use fabric.  You can even cut strips of fabric to make bows. 

Card Sending Tips

• Rethink your card traditions.  How many cards do you really need to send out this year?

• Consider sending e-cards, making phone calls or sending personal emails with photos this year instead of cards.

This year, in lieu of mailing cards, we donated the money we usually spend on cards and stamps etc. ($200) to www.RoomtoRead.org.  Instead, we are making our own e-card to send on Plaxo.  I purchase the Plaxo service because of how simple it is and they let me upload my own photo for the cards. Plus when they send the card, the recipient does not hoave to go the website to pick it up - so no worries about spam.  

• Imagine how much nicer it would be to actually talk to the college roommate you exchange cards with every year but haven’t seen or spoken to in 20 years.   

Eating and Entertaining Tips

• Limit how much sugar you eat.  Sugar impairs your immune system and causes water retention and mood swings. Much holiday depression is caused by eating too much junk!

• Keep a few healthy meals & snacks on hand.  Fruit, cut vegetables, nuts, popcorn and cheese are excellent alternatives to sweets!

• If you are having a party, let your guests bring something.  You don’t have to do it all yourself!  Remember, people love to contribute.  Don’t you? 

• Finally, give up the myth of the perfect holiday.

It doesn’t exist!  What stories are you telling yourself about what people expect of you?  Chances are they don’t expect nearly as much as you think they do.  The truth is most people don’t care how many decorations you put up or whether or not you send them a card.  90% of our stress is self-inflicted by the stories we tell ourselves about events in our lives.  By rethinking the stories you tell yourself about your holiday traditions, you can start getting back to a simpler, happier holiday season!

Wishing you Happy, Healthy & Simpler Holidays!

Preserving Archival Photos and Newspapers

Do you have old photos, newspapers, and other documents you need to preserve or archive?   Do you maintain your family genealogy documents? Here are some neat archiving tips & resources to help you preserve your valuable historical photos, newspapers, books & documents make sure they last and stay in the best quality archival condition possible over the years.

Preserving Photos

Did you know?

• No color prints last forever! Black and white is made of silver and not dyes, so it lasts longer than color. So, consider turning some of your more important photographs into black and white prints. (Wonder if this is true of ink-jet printed photos?  My guess is yes as mine do seem to fade)

Holiday Gift for My Blog Readers & Cafe Members Only!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm in a super giving mood this week and so thrilled that we already have over 150 members in the Neat & Simple Living Cafe that I've decided to GIVE  you the recording from our first Free Monthly CAFE CALL, even if you haven't joined yet!  We got so much wonderful feedback on the call and I really don't want my loyal blog readers to miss out on this one.

Special Offer for my Blog Readers

While I'm in a giving mood, to celebrate Thanksgiving, I'm also adding 30 minutes to my one hour Private Consultation for no extra charge!  Plus you get a 5  - 10 minute quick follow-up call and email support.

As many of you already know, my one hour coaching consultation  can be used to ask me about anything regarding overcoming procrastination, perfectionism, organizing your office, paper, home, family, managing ADD, hoarding, or whatever is on your mind.  You can send me photos to really make the most of the session. You also get access to download, all my e-books PLUS the documents I share with my clients!

With your private consultation you will get:

• A full 90 minute call
• A Follow-up call
• Email support
• All my e-books and other organizing documents that I normally only share with clients!
• All this for just $125!

There is no better time to get help with your personal challenges around organizing, getting motivated, or activating to complete your tasks than during the holidays...who couldn't use a little extra support to get through the holidays with all that last minute stress?   

Neat Clutter -Free Gift Idea!

If you've got someone on your list who is always talking about wishing they had help with their organizing or ADD challenges, a consultation could be a perfect clutter-free holiday gift!  As long as you don't surprise them with it.  Be sure to ask them if they would like to have a meeting with me before you purchase this.   

Availability

As of today, I only have a total of 8 5 consultation appointments available between now and December 31, so don't wait too long to decide, the offer expires on November 30.  However, I will be starting my "Getting Unstuck"  Coaching Group right after Thanksgiving, so stay tuned for more opportunities to get personalized organizing support.

TERMS

• This offer is available to anyone who purchases the consultation by November 30 and uses it by December 31.
• Black out times:  Appointments will not be available during the week of Christmas.
• You will receive an email from me within 2 business days to inform you of my next available appointment dates.

Ready to Get Started?

To purchase the private consultation use the button below. You will receive INSTANT ACCESS to the Neat & Simple Organizing Success Portfolio of e-books, forms, audio recordings, valued at over $150 alone! You can start reading right away to prepare for your session.

Total Value: $335 now just $125!  For my cafe members, it's only $99. 

All you have to do is click this button.  : )

Got a Question?

Just leave a comment below. : )

Wishing you an AWESOME Thanksgiving with much to be grateful for,

Reminder: Free Call! Thursday Nov. 6 1:00 PM EST

Just a quick reminder that tomorrow I will be hosting a one hour Q&A call-in for members of the Neat & Simple Living Cafe - an online community for people seeking "Sustainable Success" in Health, Prosperity, Relationships, Work, Home, Organizing, and Clutter Control! There is no charge to join the cafe.

Date: Thursday, November 6, 1:00 - 2:00 pm EST

This will be the first of a monthly series of "Members Only calls" to help you get to know other members of the "cafe" even better!

This month your hosts will be:

Ariane Benefit, Organizing Coach
Ellen Shapiro, Prosperity and Success Coach
Bernadette Armiento, Certified Holistic Health Practitioner

You can ask us anything about organizing, clutter, ADD, chronic disorganization, repatterning, prosperity, holistic heath, nutrition, or whatever is on your mind.

All the details for calling in are here:
http://www.neatandsimpleliving.com/profiles/blog/show?id=2385095%3ABlogPost%3A851

Hope to "see" you there!

p.s. If you know someone who might be interested in being on the call, please forward them this information!

The Neat & Simple Living Cafe is open! You're invited!

I've been talking about my "big announcements" coming this fall and here is one of them!  I'm thrilled to invite you to join me at the Neat & Simple Living Cafe! 

Like a real cafe, this online "cafe" is a casual gathering place where like-minded people, with the common goal of seeking simplified sustainable success, can connect and informally support each other using an extremely easy user Interface.  (To me, it's much easier than Facebook.) 

It's a place to talk about things that matter.  Like how to deal with the life challenges shared by creative people, self-employed people (including Moms who run a home - you're actually self-employed too!)

Why the Cafe?

Back in May, I led an online coaching group called "Getting Unstuck" - it was an amazing experience.  We used a group website to give the members a place to interact between calls. The results were successful beyond my expectations!  People were clearing clutter like crazy, sharing photos and supporting each other. The energy was palpable.  You could feel it over the phone even as people were getting unstuck. Here is just one of the many success story photos from that group.

Find more photos like this on Neat and Simple Living Cafe

Everyone loved it and wanted to stay connected after the the group ended.  So I've been looking for a way to make that happen.  After joining ADDerworld, an online community for people with ADD created by Bryan Hutchinson, (whose book about ADD I reviewed here)  I found my answer:  the Neat & Simple Living Cafe!  This group is completely free, but I will be anouncing the start-up of the new Getting Unstuck coaching group VERY soon!  I'm just putting all the finishing touches on our new "home."

What's so great about the Cafe?

I like it better than blogging and way better than Facebook. It's a much more personal way to connect with people who have common interests and goals. The interface is much simpler to me.  Beyond that, members get to connect with each other...not just with me.  It's truly a group conversation...not just me blogging and people commenting.  I love that any member can write a blog post...so it's actually a community blog!  And it's SO easy to load photos and videos - much easier than using this Typepad blog. I've already added lots of photos and a video clip too!   

FREE MONTHLY CALL!

I've been wanting to do a free monthly call for a long time too, but I resisted the idea of people calling and asking questions when I knew nothing about their background.  I like to personalize my answers - not try to give "one size fits all" answers. Now I'm excited to be hosting a free call every month for members only.  I love that when you ask questions, I might already know something about you from the cafe, and can actually look at your profile and be able to give you better answers! If needed I can follow up with you by commenting on your personal page.  How cool is that! Members will be able to ask questions via the web as well.  From time to time we will also feature other members of the cafe.

Is there a Focus to the Cafe?

Yes.  "Sustainable Success"   Sustaining a Neat and Simple Living lifestyle is a lot more challenging than meets the eye for many people.  Especially for creative people, self-employed people, busy moms, ADDers and other people who easily become overcommitted in their quest for success. 

We will be talking about all aspects of success, not just organizing and clutter control: like designing your life to fit YOU, finding work you love, finding a way to be appreciated for your personal strengths and gifts.

Sustainable success is about learning to work around what other people may call "deficits" or "weaknesses" instead of trying to change what simply cannot be changed. (I'm really starting to hate those words "deficits and weaknesses"  After all, it's not inherently BAD to be a night person, or prefer to keep your options option and improvise.  If we were living in a caveman times, you would truly value those people who can easily stay up late and keep watch over you!  : )  It's only a problem if you are in a job or environment not suited to you. 

When you fight your true nature, it takes so much energy and crushes your soul.  When you criticize yourself on top of that, you become drained and depressed. Your Life becomes one of quiet desperation and increasing isolation. In this cafe, you will find a place where you can connect with like-minded people. Just knowing you aren't alone can change everything and give you the confidence to make your life better.   

Simple living and sustainable success is about much more than organizing, so I invited two brilliant colleagues and friends Ellen Shapiro, Prosperity and Success Coach and Bernadette Armiento, Certified Holistic Health Practitioner to join me as co-hosts in engaging people in conversations about health, nutrition, financial success, energy management, relationships, working from home, ADD, family and much more! Ellen is an MBA and CPA turned "spritualista" in addition to many other talents and will be leading discussions on "prosperity" - in every sense of the word.  They will be hosting discussions in their areas of expertise and lots more over the next few months. 

Community, Not Coaching

Just to clarify, I will not be personally responding to EVERY question people may have, nor attempting to coach people via this forum. This is a place for members to interact. I will participate as time permits and provide content like I do on the blog. Keep in mind that after all, this is a FREE service so I can only give it a limited amount of time.

Who is the cafe for?

People from all walks of life who are fellow seekers of creative simplicity and sustainable success are welcome: moms, self-employed people (and wanna be self-employed : ) creative professionals, coaches, writers, service workers, healers, teachers, professional organizers, bloggers, ADDers, and anyone who resonates with our theme and has something interesting to say about it - any time of day, no matter where you live!

Here's a few things we have in common:

Graphics created by Ariane Benefit, ADHD Organizing Coach

for the Neat & Simple Living Cafe at www.neatandsimpleliving.com

You may use the above graphics on your site but
please include credit as stated above. 
I have designed and created the graphics myself,
they are not clipart. Thanks!

As I've written about before, many creative people share the same kinds of issues as ADDers, and pretty much all self-employed people who are evolving their businesses face the challenge of how to balance it all and create "sustainable" success.  People who are chronically disorganized also share similar issues.

Dr. Hallowell in his book, Crazy Busy, talks about "having ADD-like Traits" a culturally induced syndrome caused by the brain overload associated with our culture and lifestyle choices.  We have so many choices and so much information to process from so many sources that we in constant "over-stimulation" mode.

If you are a person interested in many things and who has lots of ideas, chances are you tend to bite off more than you can chew, collect clutter, and resist routines and schedules. You probably tend to evolve and change frequently and prefer to keep options open. If you do join this, keep in mind that probably something else you are doing will have to be let go. Perhaps less TV and more connecting? : ) 

It's not for everyone, and that's okay.  But if you thrive on life's "happy accidents" and find inspiration in connecting with others who love to explore ideas, you are gonna love the Neat & Simple Living Cafe!